Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
