bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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