Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The dick lei will go down in squad history
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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