ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
