you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
