I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
