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there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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