haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just cropdusted the office
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
