Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My feet surprised me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
