He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
