this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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