I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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