well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
