brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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