today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
