Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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