I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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