I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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