Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
