I seem to have left my pride at pride
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
