She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
