jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
