I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
