why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
