I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
