Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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