Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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