Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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