He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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