when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
