after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
