he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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