Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
