I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
