my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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