Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
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