Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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