i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
