I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's blow job season.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
