And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
