she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
