WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
