rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
