Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
