Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
