i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
