the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
