While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
