I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
