Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
