I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
