I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I love having hate sex.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
