what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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